Tender Mercies.

(If you didnt read the last post ... scroll down and read it.... this wont make any sense otherwise)

After I wrote that post yesterday, I went to bed feeling very sorry for myself. I layed down and tried to fall asleep, and then Tala woke up ... so I got her out of bed and took her to the rocking chair to feed her before putting her back down.

As I sat there I saw my i-pod sitting on the dresser next to me, so I reached out and grabbed it. Can I first just mention that I LOVE technology. I mean, on my ipod I have all the scriptures, the hymns, the lesson manuals, the general conferance talks, everything! Its the Gospel Library app, its free and it rocks. Its awesome. ANYWAY, i went to the general conferance talks and "just so happened" to first click on the talk by Julie Beck (love her)

It was like her talk was meant for me specifically.

It may as well have been titled, " Dear Kristine ... listen up"

If you dont remember that talk ... PLEASE go and read it!!!

I am planning on reading it and studying it a few more times over the rest of the week, but so far what I have gotten out of it is this ...

** There arent enough hours in the day for me to do everything I want to do for as long as I want to do it for ... so GET OVER IT.... make it work. Take care of the most important things first and worry about everything else later.

** I NEED revelation. period. These are daughters of God that I am raising. With His help I cant go wrong.

** Even when i try my best and do everything that I can. I am still going to have dissapointments it life , but I dont have to be dissapointed in myself.


** so much more, I am excited to really study this talk out and find more!


Awesome talk ... EXACTLY what I needed to hear, right when I needed to hear it.

No matter how far away I am from home, I am always able to get help from Heaven and I love that.

Good night world, tonight I am going to bed feeling alot better.

ps- Kailey went to bed with out screaming tonight, it was nice to have her back to her old self again. Hopefully she is back to stay.

Balance

I have been the mommy of two girls for over a month now, and Im still struggling to find some balance.
Sure I could blame it on the fact that we moved across the continent 2 weeks ago, or the fact that Kailey was sick all of last week ... but really I just need to admit to myself that I am going to be busier than I am used to.
I was holding on to this illusion that I could keep my same routine and schedule and everything would just fall easily and happily into place. I would still get my nap time in, Kailey and I could still do all the things together that we used to, the house would still be (somewhat) clean. I would feel rested and happy at the end of the day. etc etc etc .. you know .... dreams.....

WHy is it that all of a sudden my 2 year old is screaming NO at me all the time? Why wont she go to bed anymore with out me singing to her and rubbing her back until she falls asleep? Why do they both start crying at the same time? Why does the baby refuse to be put down when I need to get things done?

I would LOVE to have some balance in my life right now. I want to have some alone time with Tala to bond with her and talk to her, I want some alone time with Kailey to do those fun things with her like we used to, I want to get stuff done around the house, I want to have alone time with Davis when I dont feel so tired that all i really want to do is sleep. I want to have time to myself so I can relax. I want to read some scriptures again and get myself back on track spiritually.

I just want to feel balanced and not feel guilty about leaving things (or people) alone so that I can focus on other things (and people)

To moms of more than one kid .... .... how?